A Note to Loved Ones

When someone you love is murdered, your emotions become intensified to a much greater extent than you can imagine.  You may feel as though you have been thrown into an emotional tailspin.  Shock, grief and heartache, guilt and self-blame, disbelief, denial and anger which seems to know no bounds.  You may possibly feel a loss of faith in both God and mankind.  You may feel stigmatized and suffer a loneliness you have never known, all the while confused and wondering why this horrible tragedy occurred.   Overwhelmed and confused, you may feel that you are losing your sanity.  You will probably be depressed, impatient with yourself and others.  You sometimes feel as though you have no emotional control.  

The grief and heartache ordinarily associated with the death of a loved one are compounded when the loved one is lost through violence.  You will learn that the crime is only the first in a seemingly endless series of victimization.  Society tends to focus attention on the criminal at the same time ignoring the victim.  This unfortunate fact intensifies the victim's distress, confusion, anger and pain. 

At times you may feel the urge to cry out, "Hey, what about me?"  At other times you may ask yourself, "Doesn't anybody care?"  You feel victimized by public insensibility and you are frequently hurt by the apathy of others.  You soon learn that those who have not suffered the trauma of victimization simply cannot understand.  They don't realize that the victim is so traumatized that a simple courtesy shown becomes an act of caring from the victim's perspective.

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